@envydatropic: Nothing says you don't trust your family like pre-payment of your funeral
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@iwearaonesie: [dinner] son *sigh* What a day wife *kicks me under the table to get me to respond* me *slides my beer over to him* wife *kicks me harder*
@turtledumplin: A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you'll hear me say 'please don't eat me' ......aaaand send
@LoveNLunchmeat: When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived.