@OneFunnyMummy: Nothing says you're a parent like being jealous of a tree because it's all alone.
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@imskytrash: barista: name for the latte? me: it's Zach with an "h" *two minutes later* barista: i've got a latte for Hach
@WilliamRodgers: My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! What an idiot! Who threatens someone with a vacation???
@reczit: Help is a magic word. Say it to people & watch them disappearing from the horizon of your life.
@TheAlexNevil: "Give me the bad news, Doc--how long have I got?" "Your wife's procedure will be an outpatient one so unfortunately you can't go to Vegas."