@WineMummy: Nothing says you're over your ex like showing up at his wedding with a bride and groom voodoo doll.
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@YogaButterfly_: It's amazing how kids can't think of a thing to do all day long but you put them to bed at 11 pm & they're busy working on a cure for cancer
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies
@kathybotteas: If the emoji I wanna text is not in the "recently used," you may have to wait 3 days till I find it.