@mrsmith196645: Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening.
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@GypsyWingss: Mom: a little birdie told me you got drunk last night Me: you're the one friggen talking to birds
@AdmiralAkbrown: I get so fustrated when people say "supposably" or "irregardless" I feel like I'm literally drownding
@Ideal_Victoria: On the list of things I've learned today: 1. You're not allowed to walk a police dog 2. Pepper spray recovery time is 37 minutes
@AntiSemanticShw: I think the hardest part about being a cashier is telling the girl buying 3 pregnancy tests to "Have a nice day"