@mrsmith196645: Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening.
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@Reverend_Scott: WORM 911: what's ur emergency FLATWORM: I CUT MYSELF BAD WORM 911: u need medical help? FLATWORM: wait, there's 2 of me now. we're good.
@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die