@_eric_alexander: Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OnlyFastEddie: I get really freakin pissed off when complete strangers ask me a lot of questions. So no... the job interview didn't go very well.
@GrandadJFreeman: I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
@Smethanie: My 8-year-old just offered me leftover cashews from his lunch, asking "Do you want these nuts?" and I'm not mature enough to be a parent.
@misfarber: *rearranges underwear drawer* Neighbor: the party's downstairs. Please get out of my room