@_eric_alexander: Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
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@AntiSemanticShw: In my life Ive spent 90% of my money on drugs, drinking and women. The other 10% I wasted.
@JediGigi: [beside lady with baby] Her: Smells like someone went poop poop! Does the baby need a change? Me: *blushing* Yes ma'am.
@HammerFist3: Cat owner : wow my pet cat really likes you Me: yeah well that's just because I have at least 2 sardines in my left pocket at any given time