@XOperfectmessXO: Nothing screams passive agressive quite like letting your spouse sleep in, while also letting the kids play loudly outside the bedroom door
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@WhiteFolkProbs: Ordered a honey bee kit off Amazon. Can’t wait to tell my co-workers all the benefits of honey that I Googled right before telling them.
@nealbrennan: If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
@TheMichaelRock: Her: is he trained? Wife: of course! Me[from the couch] QUIT TRYING TO SELL ME ON CRAIGSLIST