@Jason_maybe: Nothing sets a bad precedence like your boss catching you actually working.
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@panmidwest: ME: sometimes i just repeat your name instead of laughing HANNAH: that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard ME: hannahannahannahannaha
@AdamBroud: *Sees ant carrying a leaf that weighs 3x its body weight* Wife: Can you imagine being that strong? Me: *Picking up leaf* Yes.
@joeldanger: My parents told me as a kid that R&B stood for ribbons and bows so when I heard Barry White in their bedroom I left them alone to do crafts.
@david8hughes: A black James Bond? Wouldn't work. He'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin.