@mishakey: Nothing terrifies me more than hearing, "Mommy close your eyes I have a present."
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@VerifiedDrunk: Me: I want to take you home and drink you up baby Case of beer: I have a boyfriend
@MissNaughty1801: Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then
@SaraMansford: Pro tip: If you forget their name after a one night stand, just take them to Starbucks in the morning.