@mishakey: Nothing terrifies me more than hearing, "Mommy close your eyes I have a present."
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@danjan13: I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?
@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
@dubstep4dads: Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic