@RetweetJoel: "Nothing there? Better bark at it." - a dog
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@cat_beltane: "so what did you do before self-driving cars?" "we just drove 'em ourselves!" "wow, no one died that way?" "oh no, millions of people died"
@pixelatedboat: I was the fastest gun in the West, I'd shoot you with a ham before you could even ask "What is that, some sort of ham cannon?"
@preritpathak: *At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes "No, I'm good" & "No, I'm just looking"* Me:"No, I'm just good looking"
@hyperblastchic: Luke: Lightsabers cut through anything. Ninja: So does a samurai sword. L: But does it make a cool noise? N: *cuts off Luke's other hand*