@InThaBurbs: Nothing wakes you up faster than a 5 y/o kicking open your door like SWAT and jumping on you in bed.
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@DumbConfessions: Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once. *pops jean jacket collar* I got marmalaid.
@Mikecanrant: I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face.
@schumoo: Like Grandma used to say, if it seems too good to be true buy as much of that shit as you can. Grandma drank a lot. We miss her.
@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.