@InThaBurbs: Nothing wakes you up faster than a 5 y/o kicking open your door like SWAT and jumping on you in bed.
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@WarrenHolstein: Burger King is preparing to introduce a new turkey burger. Pigeons are beginning to disappear.
@brendohare: Every night someone breaks into my house & dresses me for the next day. I guess I'd be more upset if it wasn't saving me time in the morning
@SamuelHLowe: - I'd like to make a reservation. - Name? - Matthew McConaughey. - Can you spell that for me? - No.