@KevinHart4real: Nothing worse than talking to a person with a large amount of spit in their mouth that talks really fast. HOLY SHIT...My glasses r ruined
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@crylenol: Commercial for Twitter dot com: *man yells nonsense out his window* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?
@YikYakApp: "Someone offered me grapes, but I declined . I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form." — University of Chicago
@misfarber: Poor helium. I like to imagine there's a shelium out there somewhere, waiting gaseously
@TheTweetOfGod: Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you.