@NoogsCorner: *notices it's not even 8am*nn*been tweeting like a boss...*nn*...to 5 insomniacs*
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@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: your resume says that you take things too literally ME: how the hell did my resume say that?
@dafloydsta: [therapy] "Where does your fear of spiders come from?" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay
@str8upjuggahos: How can a middle aged unemployed rat with 4 teenage turtles afford so much pizza?
@PlainTravis: I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.