@jawbroken: November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone
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@envydatropic: Indoor water parks full of kids in diapers for when you want to catch a case of name that bacterial infection
@SteveKoehler22: When our kids were teenagers we moved; hoping it would help with family strife. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us.
@Brentweets: I hired a person to randomly show up throughout the day and put baskets of bread on my desk.
@SteveSuckington: The average person eats 8 spiders a year *eating 2nd bowl of spiders* "WHO'S AVERAGE NOW DAD?"