@HeyZeus666: Now 91 is waving his diaper over his head while 86 is running down the street naked with 79's pants. Working in the old folks home is hard.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VerifiedDrunk: I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,
@mjohnny3: On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
@bridger_w: When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won't have to look for one when I become a ghost