@HeyZeus666: Now 91 is waving his diaper over his head while 86 is running down the street naked with 79's pants. Working in the old folks home is hard.
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@Swishergirl24: Parenting is all about multitasking. Like trying to brush your teeth while you're rock climbing.
@tarashoe: this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this
@PeterClayton6: If you say 'my cocaine' really loudly, you will sound exactly like Michael Caine saying his own name. I will never get tired of this.
@Sam_Alan33: Staying at a hotel tonight which means I get to play everyone's favorite game: Are you smarter than a new shower?