@spackary: Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then
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@emireecraire: Public transportation not only helps the environment, it also makes you hate the human race
@PaperWash: [3 dads circling new neighbor on their bikes] "im not looking for any trouble" all three dads in unison: HI NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE IM DAD
@GrumpyCatsMind: If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers.
@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.