@Hadzilla: Now I find out my ground hands are actually called feet wtf is going on today
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@AimeeHelene1: Warning to friends: If you piss me off I'll put a for sale sign in my yard and list your phone number to call for inquiries.
@XplodingUnicorn: Door-to-door Christian guy: Have you heard the greatest story ever told? Me: Definitely. I love Star Wars.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with