@djdarrellripley: Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist...
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@AverageCorners: My garden shed door keeps opening and closing. Is it the wind? Yes. Am I going to tell my kids it's haunted so they stay out? Also yes.
@Brocklesnitch: there should be some kind of National Dog and before any politician gets sworn into office we have to see how the dog reacts to them
@turtledumplin: Cashier: would u like a bag? Me: no I'll just carry the economy box of pads & Midol out so whoever thinks of kidnapping me will think twice