@Home_Halfway: Now I'm REALLY glad Monica chose Chandler over Richard.
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@TheCatWhisprer: *intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*
@WigCannon: What if the missing plane is still up there? "What?" Did you check the sky? "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.
@Molly_Kats: YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any.