@WheelTod: Now kids have it easy. When I was young, the hot singles in my area had to walk the streets yelling they wanted sex with me thru a megaphone
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@iwearaonesie: wife: The school called. Guess why? [flashback to me telling my son every answer on his math homework was 69] me: Why?
@NoogsCorner: Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that.
@JElvisWeinstein: Just because I quit smoking doesn't mean I gave up getting up and randomly leaving the room for 10 minutes.