@mrtruthandsoul: "Now officer, hear me out: alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a stimulant. Therefore, mixed in equal parts, I'm basically sober!"
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@KyleMcDowell86: Welcome to Lion Tamer School. Everyone grab a chair. Good... good. You're all halfway to becoming Lion Tamers now.
@causticbob: At a job interview "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker" "Can you give me an example?" "Yes, when do I start?"
@Matt_the_1st: Who me? Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.