@mrtruthandsoul: "Now officer, hear me out: alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a stimulant. Therefore, mixed in equal parts, I'm basically sober!"
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@rolldiggity: Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger.
@david8hughes: [opens treasure chest & it's full of treasure] Me: whoa Friend: what is it? Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders
@QuotingJokes: I love how the Ninja Turtles wear masks to hide their identity. It's not like you're a giant turtle or anything.