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@Its_Baldylockz: Now picture me using proper grammar
@jordan_stratton: You're not impressing anyone, server who didn't write down our orders. You're just making us anxious.
@Sickayduh: "OMG I'm so wet right now"
- Me after washing a spoon
@Freudianscript: It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.
@Ms_WhateverV: A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital.
So I pushed her under a bus.
@jeannerbeaner: My signature move is eating a whole bag of something before realizing I don't like it.