@MarcusOreally: Now playing: With Myself.
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@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.
@FattMernandez: My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@PinkCamoTO: *interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here.
@Sickayduh: Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him