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@SlipperySecret: Now responding to all "hello"
DMs with "Adele?"
@CheryeDavis: I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward.
@Norsebysw: He had the strength of ten men and the confidence of twelve morons.
@JediGigi: OMG MOM SHUT UP IM TRYING TO SUMMON THE DARK LORD TO PLAY SCRABBLE YES I WANT A HAM OMELETTE
@007Rex_Inc: Niece: I like math
M: 5 X 1?
M: *takes out phone* right
N:You're using your phone?
M: I got a text
N: I didnt hear a sound
@Lisa_Laughs_: The doctor said to treat my daughter's scratch with alcohol, so I kissed it.