@gamecox93: Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space.
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@hippieswordfish: ROOMMATE: oh shit it's that spider, you take care of it ME: ugh fine *crouches by the spider* listen dude...you're late on rent again
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu.
@futurecreaturre: if i die on a hill it's gonna be the bottom of that hill. i'm not climbing up a hill to die
@sarcasticmommy4: "If you can't beat them, join them," I say, as I join my kids in demanding someone make breakfast.