@gamecox93: Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space.
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@chris_witha_see: That moment of panic when you realize you haven't checked on your Farmville in like 6 years
@PlainTravis: I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.
@dorsalstream: [kids fighting in the back seat] ME: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PULL OVER AND START A PODCAST RIGHT NOW IF YOU 2 DON'T CUT IT OUT.
@OutOfLeftField_: Ex: Do you ever think of someone else when we have sex? Me: No, it's always George Clooney.