@timcarvell: Now that it's abandoned nudes, I hope Playboy goes with its other major brand identity and becomes a magazine about a very fancy rabbit.
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@recoveringbapti: Be on the lookout for a armed psychic midget who just robbed a bank and got away....the police now have a SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE!! ba dum dum
@iinkedZombie: [after tee ball game] Wife: we brought snacks for the kids. Me: [w/ mouthful of food] we did?!
@MrFornicator: I replaced the bulb in my refrigerator with a tanning bulb... that way if I ever get fat, at least I'll have nice color.
@usermcuserface: Guy behind me in line at the gas station was standing close enough to reenact the pottery scene from ghost.