@shatty48: Now that I've removed my windshield wipers I shouldn't be getting anymore parking tickets.
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@trevso_electric: When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that "totally weird" text you got from your ex last night.
@bingowings14: I tried some Dirty Dancing in a neighbour's herb garden. I had the thyme of my life.
@jwoodham: DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort. SNAPE: Dude, seriously?