@erikbransteen: Now that they found water on #Mars, how long before they bottle it & sell it at Whole Foods for $19?
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@KraftDinerr: I literally never cry, so my body makes up for it by leaking out of different places. My doctor says it's called "peeing" what a dumb idiot.
@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.