@ItsAndyRyan: Now then - what's an oxymoron?
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@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
@GensPlace: She was a very heavy smoker with a cough that curdled your blood. Phlegm fatale, they called her.
@stephpaulus: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius.
@PlatinumShower: I just used "volumizing" shampoo for the first time.... Everything sounds the same.