@DamienFahey: "Now, tilt your head and give me total scumbag!" - Realtor headshot photographer
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@Mr_Kapowski: Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring
@ericsshadow: My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots.
@GrantTanaka: Best thing about drinking in downtown LA is that if u need a bathroom, it's all around you
@VenisVal: My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video.