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@Rollmaninoz: *Now with 50 percent less fat*
Me: ooooh *buys two*
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job.
@KeetPotato: [in heaven after crucifixion]
jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"
god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"
@themcgillicutty: Wanna hear me read a receipt from a trip to the grocery store?
That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout.
@215potter: Back in my day a "selfie," was something you did with the door locked and a bottle of lotion.