@Tommytoughstuff: Number one rule as a snake charmer, never fall in love.
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@Angrea: I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs...But I totally trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.
@jakob_huber: One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom.
@fillthevacuum: "Ohhh, that's what you meant by period sex" I say, removing my powdered wig and waistcoat.
@LackOfShame: Women, when you say: "We should move into a better house." A man hears: "My plan is to force you to work till the day you die."