@Tommytoughstuff: Number one rule as a snake charmer, never fall in love.
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@thevirtualidiot: On second thought this "Thug's Life" tattoo probably shouldn't have been done in Comic Sans.
@sarcasticmommy4: How to get your kids to stop coming with you to Target: Son: Mom, can you buy this for me? Me: I'm not your Mom. Son: Mom, stop. Me: Let's go find your Mom. Son: MOM, STOP! Me: SECURITY!
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.