@DrDogMD: NURSE: I promise. It's ok. You can come in.
MAILMAN (trembling): are..are you sure
DR DOG: *locked in his office just going freakin nuts*
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@T_Bonezzz_: Son: Dad, I'm gay. Do you still love me? Me: Ask your mother
@MeemawKate: "Are you still watching?" Yes, Netflix. I didn't magically get my shit together in the last three hours.
@zachreinert03: I got fired from being the events coordinator at the local orphanage. I think it's cause family day never really took off
@HysteriaBarbie: Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT
@david8hughes: [first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?
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