@JasonLastname: Nutella. A delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas.
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@wittwitbarista: With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner.
@adultblackmale: [i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on
@better_off_dad: 12: I hate school. Me: Hey! Perk up! Years from now you'll look back on this as the best time of your life! 12: Now you're just being mean