@garrydavenport: "Nwbdy tellsh mwe wht to dwo", I say through a mouthful of cardboard, giving a middle finger to "remove pizza from box before consumption".
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@DaddyJew: Cop: license and registration Me: that won't be necessary officer *places a glazed donut in his pocket
@charrrllaa: I don't understand people with anchor tattoos that say, "I refuse to sink." It's a damn anchor! It's supposed to sink! What am I missing?
@GrabTheWEness: I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa.