@jdawsey1: NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: "NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”
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@daimonic0: If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too.
@daemonic3: [graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear* [crowd cries] *dad walks in holding starbucks* "traffic, my bad"
@BlACk__ThRoaT: When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
@AndrewNadeau0: You can just tell people you're writing a novel even if you're not. There will not be follow up questions.