@jdawsey1: NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: "NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”
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@ceejoyner: Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we're all going to die out here.
@notacroc: GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no
@SortaSarcastic: 90% of life is just having the courage to show up. The other 30% is just checking the math.
@THEINBREDCAT: Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble.