@JosesLovesYou: "O honey, it looks like you got your period last night. I guess well need to get new shee- wait! Wait one minute!" ~ Japanese flag designer
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@ceejoyner: Crowds hated it but the best weapon for fighting a lion in the gladiator ring was a spray bottle and a firm "NO."
@Book_Krazy: *Arrives at work 2 hrs late Boss: HR wants to see you about your behavior Me: Well, I literally just got here so it couldn't have been me
@BuckyIsotope: Started to travel back in time to kill Hitler, but then I decided to be more efficient and went back and shot Adam and Eve instead.