@JosesLovesYou: "O honey, it looks like you got your period last night. I guess well need to get new shee- wait! Wait one minute!" ~ Japanese flag designer
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@AngelaEhh: I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding.
@theevilwriter: Tip: if you often say things like "there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers.