@DonQuickoats: Hair so long she accidentally flushed herself down the toilet

@Schindizzle: It's 2015. I can't believe we're still referring to a dress as colored.

@karencheee: Marrying my gay friend bc it's important for couples to have common interests and we are both interested in men!

@bromanconsul: a car just rolled by blasting the "Duck Tales" theme song so now I'm chasing after it and trying to catch up with my new best friend

@ruinedpicnic: [catches spider in a glass] spider: omg are you going to drink me? me: oh no this is just to take you outside spider: me: spider: drink me