@primawesome: Oatmeal shouldn't get to have the word "meal" in it. How about oatsnack? Or oatbullshit?
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@FuckabillyRex: I cross-bred an octopus and a panda. Let me know if you're interested in a pretty amazing hug.
@xLiserx: It's October: For everyone's safety, keep your blonde haired children away from all corn mazes. Do not let them congregate.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@itchyturtle: Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend.