@TheThomason: Obama: "Anybody else wanna see my birth certificate?" Drops mic, walks away.
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@osigat: <- I've been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me.
@DumbConfessions: *starts throwing a fit* Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers. Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
@PopSlapFunk: When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven.
@gwatts77: Facebook people don't like Twitter because they need picture illustrations to understand the joke.