@TheThomason: Obama: "Anybody else wanna see my birth certificate?" Drops mic, walks away.
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@McMcmadmac: We named our beautiful daughter after my mother. Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 22 this year!
@Douchekevin: My four year old planted 25¢ in the garden and said a money tree is going grow there. I laughed- but water it at night just in case
@OkieGirl405: 95% of your time as a parent is spent trying to figure out who broke it, who stole it and who ate it