@stonedcoldlazy: Obama just said that no one is listening to our phones..I wonder if he realizes that the LAST thing we do with our phones is make a call!
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@TravLeBlanc: Mary and Joseph chose to have Jesus in a barn rather than spend Christmas with their families.
@RandomAntics: as a kid, there really wasn't anything I wanted to be when i grew up. and boy have i nailed it.
@ItsAndyRyan: Bae: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, I'm coming over. - Me and Bae having CB Radio sex
@ComedicBust: [Blind Date] Octopus: [confused] Your profile said you were 40 ounces.. Catfish: C'mon baby, we're already here, let's just have a drink..