@stonedcoldlazy: Obama just said that no one is listening to our phones..I wonder if he realizes that the LAST thing we do with our phones is make a call!
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@dyldonot: [girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]
@upsidedowntrash: [God creating lizards] God: How about a snake with arms and legs? Snake: [trys to throw its arms up in disgust, but just remains very still]
@girlontapas: I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20.