@bridger_w: Occasionally I like to stroll into a bank, pull a gun, shout "Everybody be cool!" and then hand out sunglasses and leather jackets.
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@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week
@WildeThingy: Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world.
@NurseMurderer: Backstreet Boys: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. Me: *slow dances with cats around a pot of mac & cheese*
@fred_dog: Do you know how many poisonous apples I'd have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?