@bridger_w: Occasionally I like to stroll into a bank, pull a gun, shout "Everybody be cool!" and then hand out sunglasses and leather jackets.
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@SortaBad: Body: go to sleep Brain: what country has the largest population of goats? Better run a search on this
@Reverend_Scott: SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy
@JaySuch: When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal.
@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.