@Dank_Pal: Ocean's Eleven? Ummmm I'm pretty sure it's a little older than that. Who is this idiot?
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@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work.
@Brianhopecomedy: 100,000 Americans signed a petition to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. 8 million Canadians signed a petition to prevent this.
@HiddenPinky: "This does not bode well." - a guy at the returns desk, explaining why he's returning a boder.