@Reverend_Scott: October 31st, 2187: Sugar is now illegal. Parents search their kid's Halloween bags to make sure the razor blades don't have candy in them.
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@iGreenMonk: If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
@pondermymaker: Turns out the symptoms for "mild heart attack" are identical to those of "having a RL acquaintance make an appearance in your notifications"
@MUMSIEesq: ME: My husband has a cold do you have those euthanasia pills? PHARMACIST: I think you mean echinacea pills haha ME: No.
@TheFactsBook: According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots.