@PharmerRPh: Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
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@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
@JLazySAngus: Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?
@existentialcoms: Ten things only 90s people remember: 1. 1990 2. 1991 3. 1992 4. 1993 5. 1994 6. 1995 7. 1996 8. 1997 9. 1998 10. That sound the modems made