@PharmerRPh: Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
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@WakeVII: OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
@jrza84: I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk.
@prontopup: "'Earth' without 'the' is just 'ar'." - Pirates If you haven't seen "Earth without art is just eh" then you prolly didn't like this tweet.
@matt___nelson: Narrator: "Humans are the product of 4.54 billion years of evolution" [cut to me pressing harder on remote control when batteries are dead]