@CheryeDavis: Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
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@TheDoorTHEDOOR: An app that detects itself running on other people's phones, then both devices play Random Encounter music. What happens next is up to you.
@GashleyMadison: [at bank] *slides teller a note* Teller: Me: T: M: [winks] T: Seriously!? M: uh huh T: M: T: *slides me a lollipop*
@SICKOFWOLVES: PLEASE SEND HELP I STOPPED BUYING AVOCADOS AND NOW I AM DROWNING IN COINS AND KEYS TO VARIOUS PROPERTIES I OWN OH GOD IS THIS HOW I DIE
@FaisalAdam_: Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique.