@CheryeDavis: Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
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@KizerBillhelm: Make librarians cry by calling it a "Book Museum" while taking pictures with your iPad.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there.
@EtobicokeErnie: Last night my wife said to me, “What would you do without me?” Apparently, “Your sister” was the wrong answer.