@WilliamAder: Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain.
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@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@ANastyGorilla: My brother's so homophobic that if he dropped his keys in San Francisco he'd kick them to Oakland before bending over to pick them up.
@ThePocketJustin: Don't you hate it when you misjudge a moment of silence and lean in for a kiss. Worst police interrogation ever.
@juanadog: Saw a sign on the highway that said "Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money...