@WilliamAder: Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain.
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@heidi420x: Me: was I born with a mental disorder? Mom: did you iron a shirt while wearing it again Me: NO Mom: ? Me: I thought pants would be different
@JaneBadall: If I was an alcoholic, I'd stash all my booze in the laundry basket because apparently I'm the only person in my house who knows it exists.
@BritishNicx: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches.