@weinerdog4life: Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
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@AbbyHasIssues: People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch.
@leechee420: I thought about getting silk sheets to seem sexy, but then I realized nobody would be turned on by me falling out of bed 6 times a night.
@01CandyQueen: Bae: come over Me: do you have food? Bae: my parents aren't home Me: Are they gonna come back with food?