@hythemafia: Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.....
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@TheTimmyToes: [JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) "where is he?" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*
@BoydPetrich: Shouldn't Captain Crunch be Colonel Crunch by now? Apparently cereal mascot is a dead end job.
@JesseWeller: You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that shit.