@hythemafia: Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.....
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@internetluke: [restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!
@nbadag: ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it
@daemonic3: Don't get why guys complain about "sleeping on the couch" I pay good money to sleep on the couch, but I wish the shrink would shut up.
@noxxhell: A homeless guy by the Gas station just proposed to me,it's a little short notice but I'm not getting any younger am I?