@hythemafia: Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.....
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@nbadag: TURTLE: hey, you carry your house around too! HERMIT CRAB: i do. where'd you find yours? T: i was born with it HC: *scoff* ok princess
@neiltyson: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't.
@Reverend_Scott: 911: What's your emergency? THE BARISTO IS HAVING A STROKE 911: Barista? IT'S A GUY. BARISTO 911: No, it's still- Nm he's dead now
@HausOfAustin: Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.