@Michabean: Of course divorce is expensive. The price of freedom has always been high.
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@conanobrienswyf: All out of clean spoons so I guess I'll just eat this fat free yogurt with my gun.
@TFLN: (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
@thwphipps: the word 'freelancer' originally came from medieval knights who would kill evildoers for the king and THEN NOT GET PAID FOR EIGHT MONTHS
@huntigula: confuse your coworkers today by telling them you're going to the restroom to do a "number 3"