@TheMichaelRock: Of course every kiss begins with k. That's how the English language works, stupid.
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@notfaizzy: waiter: what would you like to order, sir? me: a naked salad, please. waiter: ... me: you know, no dressing.
@Mikecanrant: When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put "lame shorts" and nothing happened
@BPMbadassmama: I know exactly how President Obama feels. Every time my kids are forced to listen to me, they make angry Republican faces.
@vineyille: Me: Just a glass of water Scientist waiter: You mean a glass of... yourself? You see, the body is made up of ok ok sit down I'll bring it