@TheMichaelRock: Of course every kiss begins with k. That's how the English language works, stupid.
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@Coolisiana: (Mayday) PILOT: I didn't go thru 9 years of flight school to crash ME: *relieved* Thank G- P: I went through 0, so the crash will make sense
@DrCephalopod: [shark-filled moat] ROBIN: golly, Batman, how can we distract them? BATMAN: *pushing him in* we'll think of something, chum
@Pulse_NYC: So proud of myself...6 whole months without smoking! Today I was able to ride the elevator all the way to the top without getting winded.
@d_duhwit: Me*suspicious the neighbor is a cannibal*:"Do U find this is a tough neighborhood? Neighbor:"Na, u just use a slow cooker. Me:"What? n:"What