@Vodkantots: Of course this is my real personality. Who the hell would fake THIS?
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@thetits: [in the park] ME: aww look a baby WIFE: is it on me?! ME: um no it's in a stroll- WIFE: *swatting herself* I FEEL LIKE IT'S ON ME
@_sleepysmile: People always comment about how young I look. I just tell them it's because of all the placenta I've been eating.