@Vodkantots: Of course this is my real personality. Who the hell would fake THIS?
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@HughGoesThere: Indiana Jones: I present the Ark of the Covenant, sacred crypt of the Ten Commandments. Rick from Pawn Stars: I’ll give you 25 bucks.
@Phook75: FACT: If you can trick a British person into saying "fortnight" they have to become your butler.
@max_pad21: Patient: "How much longer do I have doc? Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what?" Doctor: "Nine..."
@HatfieldAnne: “Service Dog, Do Not Pet.” We're sure this means me? Should we ask the dog? We should ask the dog.